*18 SEPTEMBER 2022

It's been a month since I started my second year of university. It's my first semester as an art education student after my foundations year, which means a lot more academics and a lot less studio time. For me, that means I'm doing a lot worse already. Everyone warns you about your foundation year being the worst but they're all design or illustration or craft majors, so they dont have to deal with having to do any actual school (kidding). I knew it would be hard when I barely got through high school with how bad I am at reading at a timely pace and writing things I know teachers will read to go into a major heavy on both of those. Don't fall for the propaganda, it's not at all paper mache and coloring. My one studio, an oil painting class, is pretty much the only thing getting me through the week.

It really doesn't help that splatoon 3 just came out and I've been sinking all my time into that instead of my assignments or opening concerned emails from my guidance counselor. Seriously, that game is insanely fun. After one day of release I decided to go and join my school's splatoon esports team discord to try out even though I'm dogwater at the game. Hoping they have room on their "junior varsity team", or the part of the club for people trying to learn the game and get their rank up. I'm trying really hard to make friends, I really am. I kind of managed to last year but they've all gotten into their own groove in their own majors with thriving communities and here I am in my program with 50 undergrads total having to start from scratch.

Even though it's lonely, I love this time of year. Last week was drenched in summer and oppresively humid. A cicada buzz drowned out my professor's lecture. It was agonizing. A dying wail of summer. It sent a chill down my spine. This week was still hot, a dry baking heat, but the shade was a heavenly, breezy chill that reminds me of fall. I immediately went to starbucks to get myself a pumpkin spice latte and take a nap under a tree. It was so beautiful I was about to weep in the middle of the campus greenery.

*10 AUGUST 2022

Hey there, this is my first entry here on this blog. :)

Basically, I'm starting a blog because I'm absolutely terrified of writing. I think I'm a bad writer, I'm not good at putting my thoughts into words, and the thought of people reading anything I write paralyzes me. So I decided, what better way to help this than being a clown online on a personal website very few people will ever see?

I've been working as a camp counselor all summer. It's been a really fun job actually. I love working with kids, even though it's a headache sometimes. I love these kids from the bottom of my heart even though I've only known them a few months. The summer school program the camp is a part of ended last week and most of the campers left with it, and I may or may not have shed some tears when my favorite campers got emotional because they weren't coming back. People will warn you about the noise or the occasional cruelty, but without a doubt the worst thing about the job is the physical toll. It's hard being on your feet and in the sun all day and keeping up with the energy of elementary schoolers when you have chronic fatigue. But even worse than that, kids are a major vector for disease. I started the summer catching a cold and still having to come to work and shout with a sore throat, and now I'm ending the summer getting covid. lol.

I caught covid at the worst possible time. These last two weeks of camp are the most understaffed already since several counselors have to move for college, I'm moving in myself in 2 weeks, and I'm supposed to be going to a LOONA concert in less than a week. I've spent all week praying to any god that I can think of that I'll be testing negative by sunday so I can go because if i can't go i'll never forgive myself. I bought bus tickets all the way to pennsylvania, 2 nights at a shitty hotel so i can camp out all day to get as close to the stage as possible, and the meet and greet pass. i literally wont know what to do with myself if i let the once in a lifetime opportunity to meet my favorite kpop group and my favorite celebrities of all time, plus several hundred dollars, go to waste all because i couldnt wash my hands every time a kid coughed on me in the middle of the woods. If I do go, I'll definitely be writing about it here, maybe even using it as inspiration to finish my eternally WIP'ed loona shrine.